Kittehs

Despite student teaching obligations, paperwork, and being exhausted most of the time (is it really exhausted if you get used to it?), I have been spending an obnoxious amount of time on icanhascheezburger.com looking at funnily-captioned pictures of our feline friends. It's kind of funny because I don't even particularly care for cats. I mean, they're alright, but I prefer dogs. Bit these pictures are so hilarious, they just bring a smile to my face no matter how tired or stressed out I may be. Yay for distractions! Well, there are many more distractions, but this one is particularly funny and shareable.

What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Techincal Manuals?

This was sent to me today by a friend (thanks Megan!) and I thought it was so witty I couldn't resist sharing!

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on your cable on the gable at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Une histoire à suspense

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

Cute little French girl! Une petite, mignonne fille francaise!

The Dam Dam

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan . This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.

SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthoriz ed activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.

A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at t his location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division


Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries: Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/05 has been handed to me to respond to.
I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Piersen, MI 49339.

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 19 94, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the department is required to protect In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.

If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then, and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.

If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

Why Buy Expensive Toys

Obviously sometimes we have bad days, tired days, or just days of blah; however, I have found the antidote to all that! Just watch this video clip and I dare you not to smile.

Lingua Engla?

Oh dear, oh dear. It seems student teaching has really monopolized my time... well, that and a few other things. Therefore, I have unnecessarily ignored my blog for almost a week! Simply atrocious!

On the other hand, English is the new lingua franca, which is dimming my views of becoming a French teacher a bit; yet, French remains the second lingua franca, so there IS motivation to learn it! Also, there is a new foreign language on the market these days - literally on the market: Globish. Apparently it is a language that only non-native English speakers can master...

"Monsieur Nerriere is a retired French businessman who one day
in the course of his work made a fascinating observation.

In a meeting with colleagues from around the world, including
an Englishman, a Korean and a Brazilian, he noticed that he and the other
non-native English speakers were communicating in a form of English that was
completely comprehensible to them, but which left the Englishman nonplussed.

He, Jean-Paul Nerriere, could talk to the Korean and the
Brazilian in this neo-language, and they could understand each other perfectly.

But the Englishman was left out because his language was too
subtle, too full of meaning that could not be grasped by the others.

In other words, Monsieur Nerriere concluded, a new form of
English is developing around the world, used by people for whom it is their
second language." (BBC News 2009)

And now for my 'huh?' question: can it still be called the lingua franca if it is no longer French?