Lundi Lecon

It's no secret that almost all new teachers come in to teaching full of enthusiasm and idealistic.Many burn out within the first year and a certain-significant-percentage-I-cannot-recall don't make it past their 5th year.

Being in the midst of my 2nd year of teaching, I am in no way claiming to be an expert, just slightly more worse for wear. I had an interesting discussion today about a certain student (teachers, you know these students; the ones who you cheer for when they are absent...); now, I have had similar discussions with other teachers about other *lovely* teenagers, but for some reason, today's stuck in my mind and made me really sit down in my car on the way home (ha) and think.

The discussion went from the usual frustration and venting to the words, "She won't pass anyway, so I'm not going to bust my butt trying to get her to do the work," passing my lips. Ouch.

Am I so disillusioned from my ideals after only a year that I would completely give up on a kid? Yes, this student is a gift of frustrations galore, but how is it that I got to this state?!? Was it through some kind of weird ritual baptism students give teachers during their first year on the job? Is it simply me venting? Or is it exhaustion from a job I'm not meant to do? Hopefully, not the latter, I'd like to stick somewhere in the middle. And while I may be venting (and mathematically, this student is in no way going to pass my class), how could I let those words come out of my mouth? For words to pass my lips, I must have thought them at least once; words are telling of that upon which a person's mind dwells.

Ironic that I just finished studying James, no? I think I have to change my thought process a bit and then will not linger on the bad qualities of those students, but rather look for an opportunity to encourage them and hopefully make part of their day brighter, even if they don't consciously acknowledge it.

Taming the Tongue

3:1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, [1] and set on fire by hell. [2] 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, [3] these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

- James 3:1-12

P.S. I had my day made a little brighter by a student sending me a carnation through the student-council run flower exchange! Aw, gosh!

Thoughtful Thoughts

Decision made, I am going to attempt at least 1 (one) "deep", thoughtful post or lesson learned each week; this is both for my readers (all five of you! gooooo readers!) and for myself. This way, I can look back in a year and say, "My how I've grown!" or, "Wow, I forgot about that!" (Most likely the latter as I am getting older.

Lesson #1 this week: surprises happen all the time.

Now, I know as a teacher, that this should really be no surprise (hahaha - punny!) as I deal with about 5,203,432.44 unanticipated events per day, but after my surprisingly amazing mid-year evaluation yesterday with the administration, I was really astonished - both at how well I have been seemingly doing and at reflecting upon last year and how much I have changed and learned as a teacher. I think that is one of the big rewards of teaching is that you never stop learning! And much like my students, I'm not always learning what I want to. If I had a choice, I would be studying more French or maybe an Eastern European language like Romanian or Czech. However, I am stuck learning how to put on a "teacher face" and kicking kids out of class - neither of which comes naturally, but is slowly becoming ingrained.

Lesson #2: God's timing is His own, not yours, Abby. Silly goose.

Again, something I already head-know, but need more lessons for my heart to realize this. Finding a new church is difficult! And a year and a half into the search, is not going much better. Part of this, I realized, was frustration on my own part and attempting to take over the search. But a good bout of venting and much more prayer should help. It is not a situation to be "solved", but a time in which to grow.

James

Studying James has always been a particularly favorite pastime of mine - I love reading this book of the Bible so much! It's so practical and every time I read through it, God reveals something new to me; and this time is no exception, especially since I'm not studying it alone. Another person's perspective can really help influence things, eh?

After reading James 2:1-13, I have been challenged (and challenged myself) to apply the charge of not showing favoritism in the way I can right now - with my students. I tend to think I'm a somewhat unbiased person and generally a fair teacher, but still being pretty green, I know I have my shortcomings.

"Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?... Love your neighbor as yourself." James 2:5, 8

Reading that yesterday, I was so excited to start this week off on a fresh outlook but of course, as soon as I set this goal in mind, it becomes not so simple - this was a challenging day for me heart-wise with my kids. It was tough, but good because it helped me realize how much I really do care for them! Now the challenge is keeping it going!

Shattered

No, not shattered dreams, shattered car window! The fear every teacher had this year when we found out we had to park in the student parking lot has been realized... unfortunately, by me. :(

The good thing is the car window got smashed after all the rain we had and will be fixed tomorrow!

Fuzzy

Happy day was seeing a cat taking a nap stretched out on the top of my neighbor's car.

Cute.

Labor Day Weekend

Labor Day has come and gone - but not without a lot of fun and lack of sleep!

Friday, I left right from work to head up to Indiana, PA to visit the lovely Mary. Then, Saturday, we drove up to western New York state to attend Amanda (and Mark's) wedding. It was gorgeous and God really helped the rain clear up just in time for the outdoor wedding; and he kept it away until the indoor reception started! :)

Mary and I waited for the "cutting of the cake" and headed out. It was a somewhat adventurous drive home without street signs in some places and without any lights in most. We did find a really cute coffee shop though (and were subsequently jealous that this coffee shop was not in our towns); but we did make it home in one piece, albeit very early in the morning.

The rest of the weekend I spent with Mary - going to church on Sunday: going to a funny Sunday school class together, listening to a great sermon on God being our Master (check it out: http://www.wgfellowship.org/sermons), and going back for a foundations class in the evening.

We also took an unexpectedly long nap in the afternoon - why is it always that seeing someone napping makes you want to nap too? Is it because they're so relaxed? Or is napping contagious like yawns?

It was so great to be able to be there for Amanda's wedding (I'll put a picture or two up when I get them!) and to be able to spend time catching up with Mary, sharing serious stories, and sharing lots of laughter ("I know that which you speak of exact. Talk me more you!").

Submission or Settling?

I wrote this a while back in March/April in an email and was cleaning out my email today, stumbled upon it, and thought it was may hap good enough to share with my general reading audience of... well... the 4 or 5 people that I know of. :)

What is the role of women in the church? Post-feminism, it has been talked about so much, and not a whole lot in healthy ways for Christian women. We are told by society we are men's equal. We are to have a career and be loving mothers/wives/sisters/friends - especially friends with other women - to uphold "the sisterhood". We are expected to break through the glass ceiling and "go where no woman has gone before." We are looked down upon and judged - ironically more harshly by other women than men - when we choose a profession that is seemingly iconically "female" - like teaching or even (gasp!) being stay-at-home-moms. "It's like the women's revolution never even happened," say some. Others, especially in my mom's generation, become vehement, "We didn't fight so hard for you to end up taking care of your kids and cooking dinner like the mom from Leave it to Beaver!!!"

So how does all this reconcile itself with the submission expected of women in the Bible without just settling for what we are told is right? A perplexing question to say the least. Especially in the oft-quoted passages from Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3, women are commanded to submit; not suggested, the word "submit" is in the imperative here. I myself have cringed (probably visibly) when I have heard this. Some of the trepidation women feel is concerning the fact that as you said, many men have taken the benefits of their authority (in the church as well as the household) without serving and following the example that Christ set. Slowly but surely, my own mind and heart have been opened (mostly after I went through my tiny feminist phase in middle school) to see the beauty in the example of the Christ and the Church and the roles men and women are called to individually fulfill. There is a huge discrepancy between that and being told, "you and men are equals," because that implies we are the same, which is definitely not true in any sense. What an identity crisis! Submission for women isn't being a wilting flower blowing where the wind wills, but rather finding their identity in Christ and above all, taking direction from him. I found a really great quote on submission (not necessarily just for women):

"Submission is the key concept to understand, for everyone is called upon to submit to God (James 4:7-10; Hebrews 12:9), and all at one time or another must submit to human authority. Believers who cannot submit to human authority do not know how to submit to God, for it is God who demands submission within human relationships. Conversely, believers will be ineffective leaders, incapable of fulfilling human authority roles until they learn to submit to others. Submission is for everyone." - Mary Kassian

Great quote, huh? Actually it got me very excited about my devotions today! So there's some deep thinking straight to you from the mind of Abby with no alterations except in the case of spelling corrections. Hopefully it's not as mixed-up as it felt coming out of my mind and fingers.

Tough Questions Answered

Check it out: Life's 25 Toughest Questions Answered

Do you have any questions you would have answered differently?

A World Less Modern Conveniences

After reading an article titled, A World Without Planes, I began to think, how would I be different minus the modern conveniences I take for granted? No airplanes, no cars, no washing machine, no computer, no Internet, no cell phone? Would I make it? I can safely say I would be fine without a washing machine, having survived two summers at camp by washing all my clothes by hand; but the others, I have a sad feeling, have become so intertwined into my life that it is almost impossible to separate them indefinitely. Sure, I could make it two weeks without checking my email, but not much longer.

Alain de Botton, the writer of the aforementioned article, sums up that now often yearned-for slower pace of life our grandparents and great-grandparents experienced,

"In a future world without aeroplanes, children would gather at the feet of old men, and hear extraordinary tales of a mythic time when vast and complicated machines the size of several houses used to take to the skies and fly high over the Himalayas and the Tasman Sea.

The wise elders would explain that inside the aircraft, passengers, who had only paid the price of a few books for the privilege, would impatiently and ungratefully shut their window blinds to the views, would sit in silence next to strangers while watching films about love and friendship - and would complain that the food in miniature plastic beakers before them was not quite as tasty as the sort they could prepare in their own kitchens."

No, I don't think I'm going to turn Amish anytime soon, but I am discovering the joys of taking a day each week not turning on the TV or the computer, walking down to the beach, and reading a book or just observing nature (frogs living on my screen door, birds and loud squirrels in the trees near my house, and two rambunctious dogs in the backyard). Thus I try to distance my dependence on the technology I can't seem to live without.

Ribbit

TGIF! I came home today after a looooong week of being sick, decided it would be good to vacuum - to get rid of dust - and do laundry. Nothing is better when you've been awfully sick than clean pajamas and sheets! Yays!

Whist vacuuming, I found this little guy to keep me company! Now I have an itty-bitty frog friend! That makes me talk all cutesy-like...

Love

While driving up to meet with my accountant today, I was listening to the radio and was just feeling a little discouraged due to a tough day at school when the following song came on. "Oh. Of course, I have all the reasons in the world to be overflowing with joy!" It's a song I've heard tons, but the message is still there. Check it out.

I was made to love you, I was made to find you,
I was made just for you, Made to adore you,
I was made to love, And be loved by you

This is why I'm here - to love, praise, and glorify God, yet not on my own; He is the one who gives me the power to do so! "But if anyone loves God, he is known by God." - 1 Corinithians 8:3. Also, check out 1 John 4:7-21, it's pretty much awesome.

Side note: Yay! Taxes are done and done! Check and double-check!

Les bonnes nouvelles

And today I officially have a career on some sort of track. I had my final summative evaluation with the principal, vice-principal, and my supervisor from the Board of Education. On the evaluation itself, the box labeled "re-employ" was checked! Yay!

After talking about next year a bit, I have been guaranteed at least a .83 position (what I have now) along with the fact that I will have TWO, read it, TWO French I classes! That means I won't be teaching Earth Science next year but I will have at least one class out of content area - I requested English both on my form for classes next year and in the meeting (and gave my reasons), so hopefully I will get 9th grade English. This way, even if I have to teach outside content area, at least I have other teachers to collaborate with!

So pretty much this week has turned around - yesterday I was getting ready to label it a bad day (which almost never happens) but I refrained and today's meeting has definitely turned things around for this week and also next year! Woohoo! And this obviously has nothing to do with the fact that spring break starts tomorrow... hahaha. :)

Links of the Day!

And following reading some cool news stories online, I thought I'd post links to my favorites/the ones I thought were most interesting.

The Animal that can live forever!

Sketching All of NYC

Warren Buffet: Born to Rock

I particularly liked the second one. I feel that while some might think it's a pointless project, I think today we spend too much time on the internet and not enough time interacting with people. Well, someone could argue, "How is drawing them interacting? He [the artist] doesn't know them; he's never talked to them. This isn't a picture into their life." But I think that taking a step away from the TV, the computer, and one's thoughts and instead stopping to "smell the roses," or in this case, notice others is a step in the right direction. Maybe we all shouldn't draw everyone we meet, but stopping to notice the tired-looking mom at the grocery store and opening the door for her or even paying for the person behind you in the drive-through will help spread the love and care we are commanded to show others:

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:8

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10

A Plethoughtra

.... or as it can also be called: a deluge, a flood, glut, many, much, an overabundance, an overflow, overkill, overmuch, plenty, profusion, superabundance, superfluity, surfeit, surplus... Yep, that's right, I haven't updated in a while and as a result find myself torn between many subjects for today. So, I thought I'd just do a mix of things and we could have a fiesta of different thoughts! Ooo fiesta - a good word and also a fun word.

First, I had my last observation of the year today! This is very exciting news as I will soon find out if I will be rehired for next year! I wasn't expecting to be observed so soon after the last one (about a week and a half ago), but now it's over and done with. Phew!

Second, I have about 40 students convinced that I am the cousin of one of my other students. Discovered this fun trick while subbing this afternoon - one kid (a loud but funny one) mentioned I looked a lot like another student in the class who I have for French III. I remembered her family is originally from IL so I said, "Right, because we're cousins." Immediately, he checked with aforementioned French student, who, glancing at me, confirmed the tale. Even her close friends in the class believed. And talking about it after class, we think we'll try and keep it up the whole year. :)

Third, and probably last, I'm starting to really really look forward to this summer. Now that the weather is almost in the 70s I'm getting so excited about being able to go out hiking and walk down to the beach (not that I'll be going swimming anytime soon, mind you).

My mind is much like a sieve - I have lost the many, many thoughts that were vying for my typing attention at the beginning of this post.

Reconciliation

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves." - Francois de la Rochefoucauld

So how do we resolve our true selves with our presented selves (whether presented in a false fashion or unconsciously)?

The best way I have found is to devote yourself to God and be, above all, His. Then not only are you reconciled to yourself but more importantly, the Lord.

"Yet if you devote your heart to him
and stretch out your hands to him,
if you put away the sin that is in your hand
and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,
then you will lift up your face without shame;
you will stand firm and without fear."
- Job 11: 13-15

Lists

After crossing off one more item from my to-do list (visit my accountant to get booking on my tax return), I stumbled upon this great article called The Art of List-Making, literally chronicling famous artists and their to-do lists. Adolf Konrad drew (and colored) his packing list for a trip, drawing himself in nothing but his underwear and illustrating his clothes and possible combinations of outfits while Finnish architect Eero Saarinen made a list of his wife's most desirable attributes and Italian designer Harry Bertoia wrote a self-assessment and rated himself "poor" on quickness of thought and courage. Interesting, no?

What's on your list?

Smile

Acck! It's been so long since my last post and I was doing so well... sigh. Part of it is because we're back to school now and last week (being the first time in two weeks we've been at school) was pretty crazy.

So here's a short update:

I've been busy. I am now not as busy. I got a tip today that I will be observed in the next week or so. Good tip.

I just smiled a lot because of this.

I am ahead in planning/photocopying for my earth science class but not my French classes - strange. I might, might get separate French III and IV classes next year. I may also have one student in French V. And I've been watching lots and lots of Olympics.

Earthquake

This morning, there was an earthquake in Chicago. Chicago?! You may say, but yes, Chicago. I got a call from my mom early this morning all excited about the 3.8 magnitude earthquake that she slept through. :)

Here's the map that shows where the epicenter was - quite close to our house!

Nerd

So the nerd in me was very excited to wake up this morning and see the news about the Hadron Collider in Switzerland sharing its first (or second?) results! The amazing atom-smashing machine (which is much bigger, newer, and more sensitive than FermiLab's, sorry blokes in Batavia), broke an atom into many more pieces than anticipated! This is very exciting seeing as they are currently searching for the Higgs boson, but are finding more levels of sub-particles will make the search that much more exciting (and frustrating, I'm sure).

Check it out!

Blizzard

And here's some pictures from this afternoon of the blizzard that hit the East Coast today. It kept snowing for about 5 more hours after these pictures were taken!

Looking outside my door at the frosting on the trees.

And those little white blobs are actually bushes that are usually a little taller than the fence behind them. Plus you get the added benefit of seeing the huge snowdrift - about 2 ft. deep.