“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?The ends justify whatever motive there was.
Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Nietzsche: Because if you are going to gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Camus: It doesn’t matter; the chicken’s actions have no meaning except to him.
Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.
Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Clinton: It wasn’t me. I wasn’t chasing the chicken. There was no inappropriate relationship between me and the chicken.’
Gingrich: Because the Chicken was kicked out of the Coop.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck is this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?”
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000 which will both crossroads, balance your checkbook, and solve your Y2K problems.
Steve Jobs: Here’s to the crazy chickens.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
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